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    10/5/2008

    十月,革了爱情的命

    新BLOG已开通,,思来想去,仍然还沿用MSN SPACE,,因为可以用MAIL更新,,还是比较方便的,新BLOG地址:http://gavinmatte.spaces.live.com/
    ==============================================================
    对我来说,每个名字都是一段心路的历程。新名字即是对过去的总结和回忆,又是对未知的新历程的展望。然而这一次,我迟迟想不好新名字,旧的历程确到了非结束不可的程度,已经消耗了太多的心力。前方确一片迷茫……不管昨日如何,一切已经结束。我在这里立一块碑,一边是墓地,一边是未知。或许,“前方的不可知,是我们前进的原动力。”

    不知什么时候起,我也开始喜欢“六六”这个名字了,虽然我从来没有问过她和他事情,但我清楚的知道,我很在意,甚至是嫉妒、嫉恨,那个时候我努力排斥、努力与和数字6相关的任何事,和“6”保持距离。然而现在却能不知不觉的喜欢上这个称呼,仅从一个称呼里便感觉到甜蜜和亲近,我想她和他应该很般配,很开心吧。或许吧。

    10月,革命的开始,革了命爱情的命。趁着假期,我也该结束这段或许根本没有开始的感情了。

    我从来不否认自己的自私,如同“ I love you not because who you are, but because who I am when I am with you. ”我从来就是一个很自我的人,我只在乎自己的感觉,只是忘我的倾泻肆意的挥洒。然而,今天我把自己的昨日埋葬。

    不能否认,这次是前所未有的投入自己的情绪和心力,自然也造成了前所未有的伤。无所谓后不后悔,即使我知道是这样的结果,可能我还是会先以前一样的选择。像飞向火焰的飞蛾,为了那片刻的温暖,慷慨赴死……

    磨砂迷梦,,存在而朦胧,,粗糙但不粗暴,质感而不绚,摸得到确看不清。
    无疑,磨砂的过程是痛苦的,我在这个磨砺的过程中,坚持不变的本色,或者在磨砺中尸骨无存,,抑或能剩一点而品质过硬的残渣……
    源于自然也终于自然。

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